If you’re like me, and you’re having to have more than one or two jobs (or even 3) to bring in an income, then this article will resonate with you so profoundly. In our economic climate today, many individuals cannot survive or live comfortably on one income, thus, many are opting for 2 or 3 different career paths. In contemporary South Africa, having one stable employment that pays the bills and still allows for comfortable living can be considered a luxury in many households. To have multiple streams of income without having to work oneself into the ground can also be difficult to come by – often associated with the rich and famous.
Whether they are fully-fledged working hours, part-time employment, or, what is known today as “side hustles” (side hustle [noun]: “work performed for income supplementary to one’s primary job” – Miriam Webster Dictionary), it can oftentimes be immensely overwhelming, energy-demanding, and often leading many wishing they could win the Lotto! (I may or may not be speaking personally here…). Having multiple deadlines, answering to various managers or bosses, travelling from one job to the next – either we wish one job could pay it all, or somehow we manifest the universe drops millions in our bank accounts over-night, right? I hear you. I see you. I am you. Let’s talk.
Managing multiple employments, workspaces, colleagues, and answering to those higher-up, can often lead to burnout, social-life depletion, job dissatisfaction, stress, and in certain instances, can lead to pathology such as anxiety and depression. Over and above these feelings, there is also a sense of entrapment, winning the rat-race, and pondering life’s purpose: Is this all my life is meant to be? Thereafter, years down the line, one may feel regret for working too hard, not investing time in the important things (such as friends and family, romantic relationships, doing things for yourself, or anything you may deem important in your life – I’m just using the generic factors here), or simply feeling the years have been wasted on materialistic ideology. For many, it is the need to survive, at any cost.
However, survival (in the sense of working pay-check to pay-check), does not necessarily equate to coping and managing, specifically within the context of the theme of this article. One may be prompted to survive by all means necessary, yet there is a foundation of healthy coping mechanisms that can lessen the load of pressure perpetuated under capitalist society. Such coping and management is crucial in avoiding a plethora of health-related issues, conflict, and overall work-life dissatisfaction. Two important factors to consider when relating back to mental health well-being is psychological safety and psychological well-being. Psychological safety refers to feeling secure in a group-environment (or in this case, a work environment) with the freedom of expression in agreeance and non-agreeance, questioning ideas and thoughts, all without fear of humiliation and negative consequence, in order for team dynamics to succeed, which has also been seen to be a direct link to work performance and overall team efficiency (Kim et al., 2020).
To bring light to these statements, a study conducted by Obrenovic et al. (2020) with 277 employees from Bahrain, Saudi Arabia, indicates that there is a negative impact of work-family conflict on psychological safety. Work-family conflict may arise when an individual is suffering from burnout, stress, role-conflict within the work place (which in this case, role conflict one can assume could be quite probable in certain instances when having to work in multiple fields or places of employment), work-overload and overall mental and physical exhaustion (Obrenovic et al., 2020). Furthermore, Obrenovic et al. (2020) further discusses that psychological safety and well-being influences work performance. The picture becomes more clearer as we can deduce that having a lack of maintenance and sustainability on our own capacities and mental health results in this vicious cycle of work, exhaustion, poor performance, familial conflict, life and job dissatisfaction, and survivability.
Thus, the question presents itself: How can one manage having multiple jobs in this economic climate? Or, in the very least, reduce the impact of work stressors on daily functioning. I am but at a shepherd, and so, I deliver! Take a look at these tips below that you can implement in your life that can alleviate some of the work stressors that may be present in your life, some of these, come from personal practice. These can also be used for those who are experience stress in just a single job/employment too.
Coping Strategies for Managing Work-Life Balance
1.Non-Negotiables
This factor comes from my own experience in managing multiple jobs that I heavily stick to. So you can either give it a try, or take it with a pinch of salt. As a form of encouragement, take time to sit and really evaluate what may cause (or is currently causing) a significant amount of distress, exhaustion and negativity that is contributing to your mismanagement of your work-life balance. If you say an entire job is causing you distress, try and find the elements within such work that causes significant stress. Once you’ve identified these stressors, establish your non-negotiables. These can be seen as a form of boundary setting, but more on this later. Non-negotiables: I refer to this as a form of entirely none, or very little compromise in relation to work-life balance. For myself, for example, I refuse to do any work on Sundays (whether its admin, answering emails, catching up on work, or having to put hours in on a Sunday to make up for time lost during the week), and dedicate the day to rest, revitalisation, family time, hobbies and self-enjoyment part-times, deserved indulgence, and doing things for myself (such as self-care) etc… It can at times be easier said than done, but this non-negotiable has been crucial in my sustainability as a working professional. Another non-negotiable I have is not answering clients or work-related content after a certain hour each night. We all need time to switch off from the working world, and shift our focus to our own world with the people and things in it that make life worth living. I know that not everyone can take a whole Sunday off for themselves (especially those with children), or not be contactable after a certain time, which is why self-reflection of your own non-negotiables is pertinent in sustaining longevity and bringing back a sense of power and time for yourself.
2. Boundaries
Leading from our non-negotiables, is the art in setting healthy, and stern boundaries. Boundaries are different from non-negotiables in the sense that non-negotiables oftentimes can be seen as absolutes to protect our mental health – boundaries have different levels to them, whether they are flexible, stern, rigid, or an absolute. Boundaries, through professional dealings with clients and everyday individuals, are the highest form of self-love and respect. Yet, they can often be difficult to implement, especially if one has people-pleasing tendencies. However, boundaries are necessary in establishing a common ground with those around us, communicating our needs in order to function optimally in work environment (and in our personal life), and feeling affirmed and confident in our abilities as human beings. Again, setting boundaries first requires some sort of reflection: “What is causing my distress in job X?”; “How can I better function in job Y when A is happening?” – important questions to ask oneself that require real and authentic approaches to what may be transpiring at work. An increased sense of Candor is required when setting boundaries, which also makes them tough to set.
A major boundary is learning how to say “No” – professionally, respectfully and politely, but with the same impact. We live in a world where, unfortunately, individuals in a work environment are not seen as a whole person, but rather as another number in the working world, and thus, the mistreatment of the whole person is to be expected. Learning to say no to working overtime to prioritise oneself is a boundary of self-respect; not tolerating disrespect in a work environment by communicating this is a boundary. For example, someone passed an insulting comment in the work place? Try this out: After the initial insult, remain silent for 7-10 seconds, eyes locked on the individual, without changing facial expressions. The silence allows for the uncomfortability to settle in, and the depth of their words to fill the room. Once this energy has been established, a simple “It seems you have the false impression that I tolerate that level of disrespect” is a clear indication that you are a person, a whole person, at the end of the day. Should you wish to not engage, a simple “your comment was so unnecessary it is not worthy of a response as I do not engage in that level of behaviour”. The above may seem harsh, but there are no elements of nastiness or unprofessionalism, on the contrary, it displays the opposite. Once again, boundary setting is unique to the individual, and requires some reflective process to establish this.
3. Mindfulness
This aspect has its inspiration drawn from Konte & Xiaohui (2021), whereby being mindful and present in your daily life is a powerful tool to calm the nervous system, live in the moment and not for the weekends, and to take back minutes of the day in small, stacking ways. This is exactly what mindfulness is – being in the moment, but taking in each one as it comes. Mindfulness has been seen to increase work performance when implemented with intention, and is seen to be linked to transformational and authentic leadership styles – predictors of strong work performance (Konte & Xiaohui, 2021). Mindfulness has also been seen to improve job satisfaction and sleep quality, curbing exhaustion and increasing motivation (Sutton, 2021). Mindfulness can also be interlinked with facing challenges and stressors head on by affirming that they exist, and not shying away from them. Sutton (2021) deduces this as reframing stress through self-talk and acknowledgement.
Being present with your emotions and stressors, in or out the work place, is a form of mindfulness by acknowledging what is true, what we have control over, and the paradox. Sitting with the emotions, talking through them, is testament to the power self-talk and mindfulness has on alleviating negative emotions. For example: “This project is really stressing me out and I oftentimes feel I won’t get through this. I know that these feelings are temporary, and I am doing the best I can. These feelings are weighing heavy on me, and I need to make sure I take care of myself in this process. I can feel the stress in my chest and shoulders – perhaps I could take a walk or do some breathing exercises to alleviate this”. This obviously takes some practice, but this self-talk demonstrates 4 things: 1 – Feelings of overwhelm are natural, but they are not absolute; 2 – affirming oneself in one’s abilities to overcome challenges is present; 3 – acknowledging that one’s health is still a priority and is not something to be overlooked; 4 – locating the stressor in the body and finding solutions to alleviate them is key in taking ownership over one’s mental state. Mindfulness can be as simple as taking a silent walk in nature, or talking to a trusted friend or colleague regarding one’s experienced challenges, yet, it takes practice, and good practice, to make a significant difference in one’s work day.
4. Seeking Help When Necessary
Often, we think we can deal with everyone and everything on our own. Perhaps for a certain amount of time this can be true, but nobody has it together all the time. Not even mental health professionals! Talking to friends, family, and trusted colleagues can be a great way to vent, express yourself, and to lean on those to provide that support which is so integral for human connection (conflict can have its benefits too, one such, is bringing people together during times of strife). But how do we know that our experiences are beyond the realm of the familiar? When is family and friend support not sufficient to alleviate work-life stress? The answer is not as simple, but a few include: when one has reached rock bottom or a breaking-point; presenting with symptoms beyond one’s control; not functioning optimally at work or in one’s personal life; experiencing burnout; or in extreme cases, considering self-harm and suicide.
The purpose of reaching out professionally is to seek assistance from those that have the tools and experience to assist in ways that others, and yourself, cannot. In the case of counselling, many of our colleagues will attest that prevention is better than cure, and seeking out professional help before reaching the breaking-point is a definite possibility, one such journey that does not have to be walked alone. Stress-management is often overlooked in South African society, as we are a nation known for our hard-work ethic and driven desires to succeed. A resilient nation we are to say the least. Seeking help is a brave and courageous feat anyone that is struggling can attest to, and as counsellors, we are here with open arms to guide you through the chaos, untangle the knots, and guide you to paths of healing and sanctuary.
Thus, for those out there managing multiple jobs or managing stress from work, we see you, we hear you, and most importantly, we are here for you. Given the current economic climate, there is so much uncertainty in the world that having multiple jobs to secure a future is a reality not often discussed in contemporary society. Although the above sentiments, tips and experiences may be able to assist anyone reading this going through a work-life stress, it is also never too late to reach out when things become cumbersome. Non-negotiables, boundaries and mindfulness practices are great ways to start implementing small changes with drastic effect, yet always know that professional help is here when you need it.
The Author: Bradley Bloem (Specialist Wellness Counsellor)
More about Bradley Bloem: https://www.vitanova.co.za/meet-the-team/bradley-bloem-specialist-wellness-counsellor/
To schedule a session with the author or any of our counsellors at Vita Nova, please contact us on 0712979992, or go to www.vitanova.co.za. We offer a range of counselling services and have interns that can provide you with assistance for free if you are not in a position to afford therapy.
For 24 hr assistance on mental health matters contact SADAG on 0800 567 567
Help is always available.
References
Kim, S., Lee, H., & Connerton, T. P. (2020). How psychological safety affects team performance: mediating role of efficacy and learning behavior. Frontiers in psychology, 11, (1581). 1-15.
Konte, A. G., & Xiaohui, L. (2021). How mindfulness impacts the positive forms of leadership and enhances performance at workplace. Human Systems Management, 40(1), 49-64.
Obrenovic, B., Jianguo, D., Khudaykulov, A., & Khan, M. A. S. (2020). Work-family conflict impact on psychological safety and psychological well-being: A job performance model. Frontiers in psychology, 11, (475). 1-18.
Sutton, J. (2021). Workplace Stress Management: 11 Best Strategies & Worksheets. Retrieved From: https://positivepsychology.com/workplace-stress-management/#coping