Articles

Don't listen to your spouse while doing something else. Quality time is giving someone your undivided attention. If you are doing something you are keenly interested in, you cannot turn from it immediately e.g. watching TV, reading newspaper. Tell your spouse the truth. “I know you are trying to talk to me and I am interested, I want to give you my full attention. I can’t do that right now, but if you give me ten minutes to finish this. I will sit down and listen to you”.  

I start off by medicating the symptoms myself for a few days and try not to run too quickly to the doctor. I don't want to seem like a hypochondriac mom. But doubt has already set in and I start to question whether the medication is actually working. By the third or fourth day, my sick child is just about all I think about during my work day and all I seem to talk about.

The child might not remember the incident, but it has definite negative effects on the child's development. Childhood trauma is more damaging to younger children because the incident influences the child’s cognitive and emotional development – trauma also causes damage to the brain and can delay normal development. The child also does not understand what’s going on and the act of rape will be physically very painful and damaging.

Often times the meddling or over involvement is fuelled by one of the partners in the relationship –your husband might, for example be struggling to let go of the apron strings, or your wife might constantly be running to daddy to fix everything. The moment you get married to someone, that person becomes your primary family and that is where your loyalty lies; it’s the two of you against the world – and unfortunately your parents and your family of origin forms part of “the world”. 

Any temperament type can have a successful relationship with any other type. A successful relationship depends more on non-type-based factors, such as goals, core values, culture and religious beliefs. However, understanding your partner's temperament type is generally very beneficial to your relationship because it will give you a better understanding of your partner's way of thinking and their needs.

The trick to that first big day is to keep OUR emotions out the way so that our children are able to fully express theirs. How do we do this when we are so scared, anxious, relieved, proud or just plain overwhelmed?! I have prepared a list of do’s and don’ts that might help the unprepared parent.

But nothing can really prepare you for that first term. Not only are our children getting a lot of work in the classroom, but they also have to get into the routine of daily homework to help them understand their work better. Sport and cultural extra murals also come into the equation and make for an afternoon juggle of events. The older child in Primary school might be able to cope with all these, but for a 6 year old in Grade 1, it can be quite daunting….and as for the parent….if you have to cope with two or three children, well good luck to you!

Can you remember the last time you had child like fun? Like playing in the mud and getting dirty? As adults we get so busy with life that we forget to live! Play is the universal language of children. But, does that mean that adults are not allowed to play? 

Redefine what “winning an argument means”. Is winning an argument what happens when I can prove you wrong, when I can throw the most dirt…? An argument has the potential to destroy your relationship. On the other hand, sticking to your code of conduct, taking responsibility for your choices of behaviour and your reactions to your partner; can result in keeping your relationship safe – which, in my book, is a definite win for you both…